Given that Kickass Canada Girl and I lead what, in the main, what can only be described as a charmed existance it would seem somewhat churlish – if that is a strong enough term for what I am about to do – for either of us to whinge or otherwise complain about it. Indeed some might find such behaviour reprehensible or even – given the manifold ills of the world as a whole – somewhat offensive. My nature is to be an optimist and to look on the bright side – but there are times when even I feel beaten down by things and am moved by the urge to unburden.
To cut to the chase – what I am saying is that if the very thought of my grumbling on about our lives turns your stomach – look away now! Click through to another, more upbeat posting maybe.
<Grumble on>
The Girl has gone back to Victoria. Boo!! She and I will not see each other again until early in November – which sorry inevitability really is proving pretty tough to bear. As posited in a previous posting on Long Distance Relationships – and is definitely turning out to be the case for us – these repeated partings are becoming more difficult with repetition rather than easier.
The Girl – having been away from Victoria for some time on a combination of leave and foreign work trips – faces what she knows will be a tough period back in the office. She is well aware that things are difficult all over at the moment, but as she is still relatively new to this particular challenge she is finding it all rather daunting and would much rather that I were there to support her (as would I!) instead of being 5,500 miles away.
I have started my last full academic year at work. This should feel good but it has been a very tough and chaotic summer – not just for those of us in IT but across the School as a whole. There is going to be a mad scramble over the coming months to try to get everything working as it should, with the further threat of an inspection hanging over us throughout. There is clearly more to do than can reasonably be accomplished in the time available, and the very thought of heading into the winter – with my commute and long days of work – makes me feel almost resentful that I have to do this final year.
The housing market is flat. The various statistics available online for our area suggest that the average time on the market is in excess of two thirds of a year and that very little is selling. Our apartment in Buckinghamshire inevitably does not fall into the ‘average’ category – in terms of selling if no other. The longer it remains unsold – and with no indication that the market will pick up anytime soon – the more worried we become that a vital element of our plan will simply fail to materialise. There is also the ongoing expense of being the landlord of a rented property. There seems always to be something needing to be done!
I do not much like the autumn. I never have. Spring is my time of year – when new life is appearing and all is being born afresh. Yes – I know that the cycle of death and rebirth is natural and essential, but that doesn’t always help my mood.
Wonderful as it is for the Girl and I to meet each other whenever we can, the cost of flying around the world like this really is unconscionable – let alone being the slightest bit ‘green’. I can’t wait to be settled in one place and to put what monies we have left to some more fruitful purpose.
You know – I think that is quite enough of that. This is making even me a bit queesy – and if you have read thus far I am sure that you are feeling the same.
Deep breath – and…
<Grumble off>
Sorry about that. Normal service has been resumed…
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As you well know, what you’ve undertaken is not for the feint of heart. That said, the two of you have discovered, in each other, something not oft found. A kind of love and care for one another that many go their entire lives without experiencing, never mind holding on to. This must make it even more difficult for the two of you. But as I said to KACG just the other day, you are more than a third there. Throughout my adulthood, short as it may seem thus far to you, I have found it most helpful to have an “exit date” from difficult circumstances (jobs I hated but couldn’t leave, etc), and would begin a physical countdown of some kind – a tear off calendar I could, with much satisfaction, reduce in size each day, counting down to that deliriously, delicious “1”!!… Perhaps something along this line might help. I personally do not share your dislike for autumn, so I cannot speak to that. You are both incredible people undertaking a most difficult challenge. I know you’re both up to the task, as awful as it is. Much love and light being broadcast your way. “Chin up” dear Andy – you are loved, on this side of the Atlantic, as well as that. The house thing is going to sort itself out in the best way possible. Talking books for the long drive to and fro’ work??
xo
D. -
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words which are – as ever – insightful, generous, loving and always most welcome. You are possessed of much wisdom for one so (relatively) young – and of course you are right – except about autumn! The Girl and I do indeed know how lucky we are – in every respect.
I had lunch yesterday with a couple of friends from my previous school, and – when discussing my situation – one of them said “so what stops you retiring right now?”. Though there are indeed good reasons my explanations did not sound at all convincing.
Hey ho!
Good suggestion re: talking books – but here in the UK we are blessed with what is possibly the best radio service in the world – what you would probably call ‘talk’ radio – the BBC’s radio 4. When I was a child I listened extensively to its forerunner – the Home Service – and much of my love for literature, drama and language came from that experience.
A xo
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