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Air Canada

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Catching up

July 18, 2012 in Life as we know it | Permalink

Well – I am back in the UK. A chance to draw breath, to stand back and to try to get a little perspective on how things stand…

The journey was relatively uneventful – if one discounts Air Canada’s now familiar round-trip performance… starting well but tailing off quite badly towards the end (not a good modus operandi for an airline!). The flight from Victoria to Vancouver was on time, but that from YVR to Heathrow began at 75 minutes and ended up nearer 2 hours late. Not a good start for the Canadian Olympic hopefuls with whom I was sharing the flight (though sharing only in the sense that they were sitting up in Executive First and I wasn’t! Still, they doubtless deserve it; let’s hope they are still in First Class for the return trip). My deputy was supposed to pick me up from the airport but the A4 was closed as a result of an accident so I had to take the tube and then walk instead. Doesn’t exactly look good, does it?

Naturally it was raining when I arrived back at Heathrow. Kickass Canada Girl and I had got into conversation with one of the Canadian Olympic administrators at Victoria International before the flight. We were watching the pictures of the sodden Olympic preparations on the TV news in the lounge. “That’s where I’m going”, she enthused. “I have to live there all the time”, I grumbled.

Talking of the weather (yes, I’m a Brit!) the graph at the top of this post shows what England has been going through so far this year. “Bah!”, I say – and “Bah!” again… I can’t immediately find any comparable statistics for Victoria, but during my stay over the last couple of weeks there was a good clear stretch of about 10 gloriously sunny days. I can’t remember the last time that could be said for the UK – and yet, there are suggestions that the weather is finally about to turn and that next week – just in time for the Olympics – the summer will finally arrive. I am an incurable optimist, but even I will not be putting money on this one.

 

I am aware that I have said nothing in recent weeks concerning the putative sale of our apartment in Buckinghamshire. There is good reason for this – nothing has happened! We have again had viewings, but no offers. We are at the stage of considering a possible further price reduction, but as the ‘summer’ is upon us – traditionally a dead time for house sales – I am not sure that such a move would make a difference. It is really quite depressing that this lack of progress simply brings everything else to a complete halt, and that nothing can be done about it. We have stopped looking at houses in Victoria because the trauma of seeing desirable properties – often great bargains to boot – slip by us is just too painful to bear.

The irony is, of course, that all gloom could be dissipated in a moment – if we could just find a buyer. We are – naturally – praying fervently to the real estate gods. Trouble is, I rather get the feeling that they might just be laughing at us…

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Making other plans

July 4, 2012 in Life in BC | 2 comments

“Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans”

There is considerable debate as to the exact origin of this quote – before it became a John Lennon lyric… so let’s just stick with Lennon.

I really didn’t get a chance to plan ahead in much detail for this trip to BC, though some vague ideas had been floated before I left the UK. As it turns out this is just as well. Thus far we have pretty much had to make it up as we go along.

Having left School on the last day of term (making my exit – as detailed in a previous post – just as soon as the boys had made their own break for freedom) I was blessed with a reasonably trouble-free flight via Calgary to Victoria.

The only incident worthy of note – and then only for reasons of personal embarrassment (and thus amusement!) – occurred whilst I was standing by the emergency exit doing some leg stretches at 35,000 feet over the Northwest Territories. The emergency exit on the Airbus A330 features a large curved aluminium handle, nearly 2 foot wide and standing proud of the door by about another foot. Facing away from the door I had stretched my leg up behind me. When I brought it down again I contrived to catch it forcibly on said handle. I had a momentary vision of the exit door flying off into the void and of all of us travelers being sucked out into the upper atmosphere – before coming to my senses and recognising that, if such a thing were possible, they would not have built a huge protruding handle onto the door just where any idiot might accidentally catch his foot on it.

As it turned out the only casualties were my big toe – which is now a very fetching shade of black and blue – and my pride, as I almost fell into the laps of my sleeping neighbours. Attempts to pass the maneuver off as the latest in calisthenics did not – frankly – convince.

Diverting attention for a moment from my own clown-like behaviour I must take a second to grumble about the antics of some of my fellow passengers. Three examples of extraordinary (to my mind at any rate) behaviour:

  • The passenger who – when the seatbelt sign was illuminated during some mid-Atlantic turbulence – refused to fasten his belt. The stewardess told him that she would remain standing over him until he had done so, but he continued to argue for some considerable time.
  • Another passenger who – when asked during a bumpy descent into Calgary to stow his bag in the overhead locker – held up the Stewardess by arguing that it might get crushed. He seemed not to care that the plane was on its final approach and that his truculence was preventing the Stewardess from strapping herself in.
  • Finally, the gaudily attired ‘woman of a certain age’ who – as we waited for our baggage at Calgary, on observing that I was already standing on the precise spot behind the blue line that she clearly wanted to be in occupation of when the belt started – simply stepped directly in front of me and blocked my path. She did, however, receive her just reward. My bag appeared first and – as I swung it from the carousel – I inadvertently (honest!) clipped her with it. For once in my life I did not apologise!

Having arrived in Victoria somewhat weary and jet-lagged, I was hoping for something of a break. Events conspired against me and I spend two of the next three days – with a much needed break for Canada Day – helping to redecorate Kickass Canada Girl’s son’s apartment. Yes – I know that I have not until now mentioned that the Girl has a grown-up son who lives on his own in Victoria… Consider it mentioned!

Anywho – there is still plumbing and electrical work to be done on the apartment, and the Girl herself not only has to work this week but also finds that she has to attend an event in Vancouver on Saturday. Hey ho! I have booked some serious spa treatments for next Sunday, so let’s hope that the relaxation can finally start in earnest then.

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Criminal intent?

June 13, 2012 in Kickass Canada Girl | Permalink

“A criminal is a person with predatory instincts without sufficient capital to form a corporation.”

Howard Scott

In a new departure for ‘The Imperceptible Immigrant’, today sees the first post by a guest writer – in this case none other than the Kickass Canada Girl herself! Her recent passage back to Canada did not go as smoothly as she might have hoped. Read on…

 

“Arrested for a roast beef sandwich…!”

Well – okay, not quite, but I did have to account to Canada Customs in Calgary – and they take their ‘beef’ seriously in Cowtown.

I had the misfortune of having the very LAST bag to come off the plane from London, and had as a result already missed my connecting flight to Victoria. Whilst waiting for the offending item to appear the Canada Customs food sniffer dog (yes – really!) – which was operating in the baggage hall – sniffed out, in my hand luggage, the one lone leftover sandwich that I had, in all honesty, forgotten about. My boarding pass and passport were confiscated and – once Customs had located my missing case – I joined a few ‘serious’ criminals and foreigners flaunting lots of loot from abroad in the ‘special area’. Unlike the guy from Africa I wasn’t put up against the wall and bodily searched, though my bags were (well – not put up against the wall, of course…). They were presumably looking for further contraband food and other items… because once you have f***ed with Canada Customs they take their job seriously!

I was asked for receipts for various items that I had purchased in the UK. Fortunately I had pocketed the one for the necklace that I had bought for my niece. The Customs dude was well impressed that I had accumulated the £120 worth of Tesco vouchers that I had used for this purchase – or maybe he was just incredulous at my 3 for 1 offer explanation.

He then went away for several minutes with my passport and when he returned commented suspiciously that I ‘travel quite a lot’.  Believing that too much explaining usually indicates lying, I kept my justification short. I wanted to leave the ‘special area’ as soon as possible – and not in the direction of Guantanamo!

Customs man then commented that I had a lot of paper and stuff.  My explanation that I always pack this way clearly impressed him further – or perhaps just left him incredulous again. Something in the tone of his voice…

He filled out an extensive document called an ‘abandonment’ form (basically a receipt for my beef sandwich – that’s what the form says – ‘beef sandwich’ – really!). I was bricking it as there is a $800 fine for not declaring MEAT on your customs form, and trying to sneak through a roast beef sandwich can, apparently, single-handedly cause a nationwide outbreak of mad cow disease…  or so I was told – with a very serious face and tone.  I was informed that I am now in their system in case they have any further trouble with me. I asked if this would ‘flag’ me for all time and was told ‘no’ – but if I do it again then they would have a real ‘beef’ with me! (Okay – sadly, I made that last bit up – Canada Customs have absolutely NO SENSE OF HUMOUR!).

When I was finally released I had to rebook with Air Canada and then sat alone in Departures eating a crap chicken burger (without the bun) waiting for my 19:40 flight and hoping to be home in Saanich by 21:00 BC time.  It had been a long day… Sigh!

 

Oh – and they kept the tupperware container… Apparently it had been ‘infected’ with the foreign beef! This makes me wonder about all those other ‘law breakers’ out there who get away with it – because they didn’t forget to eat their food.

I didn’t get a receipt for the container either…

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We’re not happy…!

April 10, 2012 in Moving to Canada | 2 comments

When one of my IT support engineers advises a user to power off and restart his or her computer, my reckoning is that this is pretty sage advice. The strong probability is that the user has by this point issued such a convoluted and illogical set of instructions to the poor machine that it has completely tied itself in knots and only a full reset will restore normal service. The other possibility – that the problem is caused by the vagaries of the software products of our major computer corporations – will keep for a future post.

It is a different matter, however, when the captain of an Airbus A330 – sitting on the tarmac at Calgary for well over an hour with full complement on board – shuts the whole aircraft down to complete darkness three times in an effort to restart a recalcitrant computer. Despite the fact that the machine in question merely powered the entertainment system this extended procedure naturally did not fill the assembly with confidence, any more than did the pair of puzzled looking mechanics who wandered the length of the aisle – the ‘engineer’ clutching a screwdriver and the ‘oily rag’ keeping his place by means of a grubby finger in a vast orange reference manual. Hmmm!

Their efforts – you will be unsurprised to read – were not successful. The flight consequently suffered a total lack of entertainment (the stewardesses declining the suggestion of one male passenger that they dance for us instead) and had no reading lights! I was not particularly bothered by the lack of movies and so forth – I rarely watch them in flight in any case – but as I am a poor sleeper in transit the inability to read for the eight hour duration of the flight was pretty frustrating.

Fortunately the Galaxy Note was fully operational and I was thus able to compose this somewhat irritable diatribe for later posting.

Way to go, Air Canada…

 

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In transit

April 1, 2012 in Life in BC | 2 comments

Air Canada did not, regrettably, live up to the precedent set last week by Air Canada Cargo. The flight to Vancouver had already been delayed by an hour when I reached Heathrow and, once boarded, we then sat on the tarmac for a further hour waiting for a take-off slot. I consequently missed my connection in Vancouver and had to take a later flight to Victoria.

It had already been a long day. When I return to the UK in ten day’s time I will need – to preserve as much leave as possible for further visits to BC – to head straight for the office. To facilitate this I drove to the School first thing on Thursday and, leaving the car there, hauled my bags to the tube station and took the train to Heathrow. With the subsequent delays the whole journey took around 20 hours. When I arrived all I could manage was to collapse and go straight to sleep.

So – what did we do the next day?

We got up early – naturally – caught the ferry to the mainland and drove for 5 hours to Kamloops, birthplace of the Kickass Canada Girl. Though the weather at either end of the trip was fair enough for the time of year, the route traverses the Coquihalla pass and we found ourselves passing through some pretty serious snow.

We are in Kamloops for the Girl’s aunt’s 80 birthday and today – Saturday – there is a party at her cousin’s house.

Phew! I might just be getting a little old to sustain this pace…

I am writing this on my Galaxy Note sitting in a Starbucks in Kamloops, which is a a new experience and not the easiest thing to do. I will write more – and much more elegantly – once we are back in Victoria on Monday. All I have to figure out now is how to get the picture to accompany this post off my camera and onto the blog. Neither the Note nor the x10 has a standard USB port, so I will probably have to borrow a computer elsewhere to do so. This is a problem that will need to be addressed for the future.

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Anchors a-weigh

March 22, 2012 in Moving to Canada | Permalink

Thirteen boxes containing 180Kg of Kickass Canada Girl’s wardrobe and personal effects (and no – I won’t be drawn as to what percentage of her wardrobe that represents!) have taken wing and are – as I write – migrating to Canada.

It doesn’t do to speak too soon, of course, but thus far the experience of using Air Canada Cargo to ship these items has proved nothing but positive. Provided the Girl’s precious bits and bobs do not go missing en route I shall have no hesitation in offering my endorsement of their services. Given that my introduction to Air Canada was somewhat coloured by the infamous bastardisation of their erstwhile slogan ‘We’re not happy until you’re happy’, this counts as pretty good going.

The shipping procedure that I followed – which may be of interest should you ever need to do likewise – was as follows:

  • Pack, seal, weigh, address and number the boxes
  • Create a packing list – including dimensions and weights of the boxes and details and approximate values of the contents thereof
  • Book the shipment with Air Canada Cargo – by email – one week before required delivery date
  • Print off the packing list (several copies are helpful) and the confirmation details of the booking and quotation
  • Borrow a van from the School
  • Deliver the shipment to Air Canada Cargo at Heathrow (open 24/7) – 48 hours before required delivery date
  • Air Canada Cargo then:
    • Process the paperwork and produce transit labels for each box
    • Check the weights of the boxes
    • Charge for shipping according to their quote (easiest done by credit card)
    • Produce the Air Waybill (of which one gets a copy)
  • Scan and email the copy of the Air Waybill to Kickass Canada Girl
  • Sit back and relax!

Once launched the shipment can be tracked from the Air Canada Cargo website simply by using the Air Waybill number. A decent amount of information is provided at each stage. All that then remains is to arrange collection at the receiving end.

The Girl slightly complicated things at this point by contacting Canadian Customs to enquire as to the process for gaining clearance for the goods. She was passed between no fewer than five customs operatives, each of whom told her something different and the last of which said that nothing could be done without some item of information that she didn’t have. I advised her to talk direct to Air Canada Cargo in Victoria, and they once again came up trumps. A most helpful customer services operative explained the procedure:

  • The shipment would be held in a secure ‘cage’ until customs had been cleared
  • The Girl should visit Air Canada Cargo – taking the Air Waybill with her – pay the relevant fee and receive the necessary paperwork
  • She should then call on Canadian Customs who would either simply process the paperwork and give her clearance, or go with her to Air Canada Cargo to inspect the boxes before doing so
  • The boxes would then be released to her

So much for the theory. We will see how it all works out in practice. I will add an addendum to this post in a few days time if all goes to plan – or inflict a further post if it turns into a long and harrowing saga instead.

The other positive that should be commented on is that the cost of shipping the Girl’s goodies really has been very reasonable. So much so, it would seem, that the Victoria Air Canada Cargo man expressed surprise on seeing the documentation, and asked if we had been given a staff discount!

 

Addendum: All boxes duly cleared customs and collected to schedule. Smiles all round!

 

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