Christmas

There are those – it would seem – around these parts who save themselves a whole bunch of time come advent-tide by getting out their Christmas decorations at the same time that they put away their Halloween furbelows.

“Wait… what?“, I hear the Brits cry (at least – those who view/listen to too much Americana and don’t mind being a bit behind the curve!).

OK – for the average Brit (should such a thing there be) there is probably a fair bit to be unpacked from that opening statement. Please allow me to elucidate.

Halloween is certainly a much bigger deal in the UK than it used to be, and much of that is undoubtedly down to Hollywood and to American TV. We used to get pestered by the occasional trick-or-treaters, though they were usually adolescents rather than children and not afraid to throw eggs! One year a bunch of scruffy teenagers showed up demanding alcohol. I may have given them some small bottles of French beer and told them to go and play in the park… I may not. Depends who is asking!

Anyhow – when I were a nipper we had other things on our minds come this time of the year – like Bonfire Night (or Guy Fawkes Night for the purists). Instead of trick-or-treating the idea was to put together an effigy – fashioned from some newspaper-stuffed jumble sale clothes and a cardboard mask – stick it in an old pram and go door to door demanding – “Penny for the Guy“. (For non Brits a ‘penny’ was a… oh – never-mind!). When it came to larks after dark we were much more into chucking a few whizzbangs about and setting fire to dummies (or indeed to pretty much anything!) than we were into ghosts and ghouls – but it takes all sorts.

I was completely caught out this year, which only goes to illustrate the gulf between the nations. The Girl was out on All Hallows Eve and I was at home alone and unsuspecting when the doorbell rang. Upon investigation I found myself faced by two elaborately costumed but extremely diminutive boys. I could see parents hovering in the background.

“Trick or Treat?“, the slightly older boy explained.

Being unprepared – having forgotten completely what the date was – I had nothing to offer.

“Oh dear“, I said, mournfully. “It had better be trick!“.

A look of panic crossed the child’s face. This option had clearly never been requested before – the norm being simply to hand over the sweetmeats! I tried to explain to the parents about Guido Fawkes and the immolation of Catholic fundamentalists (in effigy) but I could tell that they weren’t buying it, presumably just thinking that I had put up a pretty poor show and let the side down.

I tended to agree…

Now – North Americans (in addition to trick-or-treating) are prone to decorating the outside of their houses (and their front yards and driveways) with all manner of baubles, gewgaws and absolutely enormous illuminated inflatables. They do this for Halloween as well as for Christmas and, frankly, there doesn’t seem to be much of a gap between them these days. December was still at least a week away when the first pneumatic protoplasms pumped themselves up with the fading of the light. I don’t mind a bit of jolly Christmas-tide stuff from about mid-December onwards, but I am still dashed if I know what storm-troopers from Star Wars have to do with it!

My Scrooge-like attitude will, of course, eventually dissipate and I will doubtless string a few discreet twinkly lights along the front of our abode.

I’ll post a picture when that happens. Don’t hold your breath!