Language

Sitting in the cafe at Bath Spa the Sunday before last indulging ourselves in a spot of post-detox lunch (one feels so much more virtuous entertaining a large glass of something white, crisp and chilled when one has just purged oneself for an hour or so in the sultry muculence of the steam rooms!) – the Kickass Canada Girl and I found ourselves sharing the ambience with the group at the next table. We had little choice in the matter since the table in question was occupied by a gaggle of raucous teenage girls!

I suppose it is an established fact that the majority of those who avail themselves of the facilities offered by these temples to the body beautiful are members of the gentler sex. This has certainly been my observation, and at Bath last week there did seem to be a preponderance both of groups of ladies of a certain age – doubtless on other occasions to be found lunching – and of throngs of turbulent teenagers. The Girl offered some pithy thoughts as to why these young shemales might feel the need to be quite so strident but I can’t really repeat them here for reasons of propriety.

Given that it was impossible to avoid overhearing the ‘conversation’ (though it is doubtful that such verbal exhibitionism could ever really be construed as an ‘informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words’ – as the definition has it) I found myself somewhat bemused by what was actually being said. Though the group as a whole seemed only too eager to demonstrate their linguistic limitations, the loudest of the three – the one sitting closest to us, naturally – appeared also to be trying to displace the definite article from its preeminence in the lexicon to be replaced by that which – according to a study by the OED of the Oxford English Corpus – is ranked no higher than fifty fourth.

I refer – of course – to the word – ‘like‘!

The dictionary definition of ‘like‘ runs thus:

      – of the same form, appearance, kind, character, amount, etc.

The Urban Dictionary adds these alternatives:

      – a term used by many junior high and high school students for having a crush.

      – in some teenage girls, a word spoken in between other words in a sentence.

      – the same as “said” or “spoke”.

The first is obvious. An example of the second might be:

      “Like, oh my God, that is, like, so wrong.”

…and the third:

      “So I was like, ‘duuuude’ and he was all ‘baaaabe’.”

Now – listening to someone inserting ‘like‘ between every third or fourth word in a sentence may set the teeth on edge in much the same way as does being subjected to the sound of fingernails on a blackboard – or indeed to the Brummie accent* – but nothing raises my hackles quite as effectively as this latter substitution. If one really must find an alternative to “said” – and is not prepared to do without it entirely – then the InterWebNet will happily furnish some hundreds of possible alternatives. None of them is – ‘was like‘!!

What I find most puzzling, however – given that these self-regarding youths undoubtedly pick up such linguistic tics from their favourite Hollywood movies or TV shows – is that they should have fixated on a meme that is getting on for a decade old.

I didn’t think that Bath was that far from the capital!

* Apologoys ter brummoys fer anny offence. Cor resist a cheap gag!

The more astute reader will probably have figured out by now that I work in a school (those who know me will, of course, be well aware of the fact). Now, this is not – it has to be said – just any school. It has a full scale IT Department for one thing (of which I am the director), which should give some idea as to the nature of the establishment. In addition to my managerial and technical duties I also teach drama. This rather unusual mixture is – it need hardly be said – the result of my somewhat eclectic background.

The other day I was talking to the School’s Librarian in the Common Room. She has two sub-librarians who are both also of the fairer sex, a situation apparently not uncommon in their profession. Standing nearby as we talked were two other women – one of our history teachers and a young American graduate who is in the UK for a year on one of the School’s fellowship programmes.

The Librarian and I were discussing the replacement of the software that runs the library catalogue, which upgrade is planned for later this year. I suggested that she and the other ‘ladies’ would know more once they had seen some of the potential alternative systems in action in other schools.

At this point the history teacher interrupted us, politely but firmly, to take me to task for what I had said. I was nonplussed – and expressed same. She explained that I should not have used the term – ‘ladies’. No more ‘plussed’ I inquired as to why this should be so – to be informed that the term is now considered pejorative.

Naturally I apologised for any offence that I might have caused, however inadvertently, and made clear that I had not intended to disparage or condescend in any way. Those who know me would hopefully agree that I have always behaved in the enlightened manner of what was once called the ‘new man’, and have the greatest respect for those of the opposite gender.

I explained that, for me, the terms ‘ladies’ and ‘gentlemen’ have altogether different meanings. I address my staff – who are predominantly male – as ‘gentlemen’ (that I do not do similarly for the sole woman on my team is because neither ‘ladies’ nor ‘gentlemen’ take the singular – at least not in England!), and I do likewise to the boys in my classes – this latter because my fervent hope is that, if they are not already young gentlemen, they will become so by the culmination of their education.

I am not sure that my protestations entirely convinced. I find it somewhat sad that terms that I have always considered a mark of respect should now have gained other connotations. Language is, of course, as much defined by the understanding of the listener as by the intent of the speaker, and it is incumbent on both parties jointly to achieve consensus as to meaning. I fear that all too often this part of the deal is neglected and offence given – or taken – where none is intended.

I would be most interested to hear others’ views on the matter.

I had subsequently an interesting conversation with the American fellow. She told me that she been made much more aware of issues related to sexism since coming to the UK than she had previously been in the US. She was somewhat taken aback by men performing what we might consider acts of politeness – holding doors open and so forth – but even more so that these same men were less able to accept similar in return. She described instances in which she had held open one half of double doors for a man, only to see him push through the other half for himself.

Bizarre!