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Exclamation_mark_redPerfunctory
pəˈfʌŋ(k)t(ə)ri
adjective

adjective: perfunctory

  1. <(of an action) carried out without real interest, feeling, or effort.
    “he gave a perfunctory nod”

My apologies if recent posts have come over as being a little on the – er – perfunctory side. If I may plead an excuse – there is quite a lot going on at the moment! I do have a fair bit to report and much upon which to elaborate, but that may all have to wait until we actually find ourselves with some time on our hands.

Much of last week was given over to a series of fond farewells which – as you might imagine – caused no small amount heart-string tugging.  For emotional relief we indulged ourselves with a long wished-for trip to town to observe the taping of one of our favourite satirical TV shows – “Mock the Week“. The Girl has been applying for tickets for this chuckle-fest pretty much throughout the whole of the last decade – to this point with no joy whatsoever. Pleading that she was about to leave the country, however, seems to have done the trick and around a month ago a pair of priority tickets popped through the letterbox.

Mock the Week is a spoof news-based quiz show purportedly pitting against each other two teams of three comedians. The show is hosted by – and is in large part dependent for its success upon – the estimable Dara O’Brean. Whereas we never doubted that the twenty nine minutes that go to air each week are in fact culled from a considerably greater pool of material, we had not imagined for a moment that what the audience in the studio is actually presented with is more than three hours of inspired riffing on current affairs topics, a fair bit of which is completely un-broadcastable. The show is taped on a Tuesday night and broadcast the following Thursday and I for one have no idea how they manage to produce a coherent and highly entertaining program from the chaos with which the studio audience is presented.

 

In an abrupt change of gear, this – for those who are interested – is how the remainder of this week pans out.

  • Wednesday – our movers arrive to start packing.
  • Thursday – our movers finish packing and start moving! Having no bed we spend the night in an hotel.
  • Friday – we (and our cleaners) clean the Berkshire apartment, and our carpet cleaner then cleans the carpets. Obvious really. Still no bed, so back to the hotel we go.
  • Saturday – all done at the apartment and now just the cars to dispose of (to those who have kindly already agreed to purchase them from us), haircuts to have and odds and sods to deliver to all and sundry. Thence to another hotel – this time on the outskirts of the Airport.
  • Sunday – check in… and check out! Apparently this ain’t the Hotel California and we can – after all – leave…

 

BC here we come!

 

 

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The_End_BookWell – that’s it! After forty years of continual employment I am no longer a working man. For the first time in my life since I commenced my education at the age of five (with perhaps the exception of school summer holidays) my existence has no clearly defined structure. This might take a little getting used to.

The obvious question – to which I am immediately subjected – is naturally:

How does it feel to be retired?

The answer, of course, is that I have no idea. I left work on a Friday. It is the weekend. It could – in fact – be any weekend, except that I don’ t have to go to work next Monday.

Still – I could be on holiday, and indeed I have no doubt that this is going to feel like being on holiday for quite some time, particularly as we head for British Columbia in just over two weeks time.

Have no fear. I am going to post on the subject of retirement. Probably extensively! But not now – not just yet…

This all needs to sink in for a while.

Bear with…” – as the slightly dated cultural reference would have it…

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Troop_ship_farewell_(000304-01)Towards the end of the morning on Friday last the academic year finally futtered to a close, the boys executed an Alice Cooper-esque exit from the premises and the teaching staff – dazzled by the prospect of several months of much needed downtime and recuperation – wasted no time in scurrying en-masse out of the School gates and – in some cases – directly to the airport.

I have known – by acquaintance at least – some of these individuals for getting on for a decade and I doubt if I will see many of them again. With a very small number of exceptions no goodbyes were exchanged. They were in a hurry to get away – I was busy trying to sort out an unexpected and unwanted communications problem.

I have no complaints…

A little more than a month ago – in conversation with my line manager (the Chief Operations Officer) – I expressed a fervent wish that I be able to avoid as much as possible of the usual round of farewells – dinners, speeches in the Common Room, mentions in despatches – and all other such discomforts.

Good luck with that!“, was his assessment of my chances.

By my own criteria I have been remarkably successful at avoiding the worst of it, though a fair amount of ducking and diving has been required so to effect.

I can sense that some might be horrified by my attitude in this regard – indeed, a few have expressed such to me directly. I entirely understand that denying others an opportunity to express appreciation can actually be quite selfish, and it is not something of which I am particularly proud. Perhaps I should have ‘cowboy-ed up’ (as the Girl is wont so say) and got on with it.

I have no doubt that my experience as a child of any appreciation of achievement being expressed in only the most restrained of fashions was a generational one and I certainly hold nothing against my parents in this regard – but I can’t help thinking that this has probably played its part in my subsequent discomfort on finding myself the object of approbation. I know that Mother and Father were proud of some of the things that I did, because I have since heard through third parties that this was so.

I believe that my judgement is reasonably sound when it comes to determining which of the things that I have done have been of value, whether that be in my chosen profession or in my artistic endeavors. I find it very difficult to accept praise for things that I do not think have been done well.

In one extreme but illustrative example of the sort of difficulties I encounter I was once a small part of a production which received for its final performance an extended and – in my view – well deserved standing ovation – for completely the wrong reasons. The audience applauded the manner in which we dealt with an incident on stage rather than the quality of the performance. This upset me to a disproportionate degree.

The intensity of my feelings of embarrassment upon being the object of eulogy is apparently not confined to that which is said – but also can arise from that which is not… whether that be by the omission of reference to achievements of which I am quite proud, or through knowledge that some present do not actually agree with the sentiments that are being expressed… in which situation I have found myself in the past.

As will be clear from this diatribe I really am quite conflicted over this business, which should go some little way to explaining my preference for shying away from the whole kit and caboodle.

But then – maybe I am just over-thinking things…

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“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.” – Romeo and Juliet – William Shakespeare

“No words. No words to describe it… They should’ve sent a poet.” – Jodie Foster as Ellie Arroway in Contact.

 

We turn to the poets when our own words are inadequate to express or elucidate our feelings.

 

As I write, Kickass Canada Girl is in the air, on her way to Victoria…

 

 

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Everybody knows ‘Auld Lang Syne’. Most people will have sung it at some point or another – probably on a New Year’s Eve, and most likely whilst crossing arms and linking hands in a circle with a lot of other people that they don’t really know.

In common with a number of other things that ‘everybody knows’, however, most of us probably don’t really know ‘Auld Lang Syne’ that well at all. How many of us can do more than mumble our way through the first verse and chorus? How many know that, though the incomparable Rabbie Burns published it in 1788, he actually based it on a much older ballad – “Old Long Syne” – by one James Watson, printed in 1711 and of which the first verse and the chorus bear a remarkable resemblance to Burns’ later version. Watson himself very probably ‘borrowed’ the ballad from an even earlier – and unrecorded – source.

It may seem that the end of February is an odd time to be pontificating on the origins of the traditional New Year ballad. It might perhaps make more sense if we associate it with Hogmanay, the Scottish equivalent – for Hogmanay is more properly the name given to the last day of the Old Year, and the underlying ethos of the festival is to do with clearing out the vestiges of the year that has gone, to allow a clean break and to welcome in a young, New Year on a happy note.

‘Auld Lang Syne’ is thus more than anything a song of farewell and remembrance. As a result, in addition to its appearance at Hogmanay, it is also frequently sung at funerals, graduations and as a farewell or ending to other occasions.

 

Thus it was that a disparate group of friends and colleagues, sitting round a large wooden table in a pub on Richmond Hill (called – delightfully – ‘The Lass O’ Richmond Hill’) one Sunday lunchtime at the end of February… crossed arms, linked hands in a circle, and mumbled their way through the first verse and chorus of ‘Auld Lang Syne’. We may not have won any prizes or many talent show votes, but we were saying ‘goodbye’ – or rather ‘au revoir’ – to the Kickass Canada Girl, and we mumbled from the heart. BCs gain is, in this case, very much England’s loss – though I will naturally do my best to drag her back at every possible opportunity.

The fourth verse of the ballad is germane (with a translation for the Sassenachs):

“We twa hae paidl’d i’ the burn,
Frae mornin’ sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin auld lang syne”

“We two have paddled in the stream,
From morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
Since long, long ago.”

This time next week – the Girl will be back in Victoria…

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“She said why don’t we both
Just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning
You’ll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me
And I realized she probably was right” – Paul Simon

I firmly believe Paul Simon to be one of the greatest ever pop lyricists, and no mean tune-smith to boot. If you know of anyone who can better the incorporation of words such as “misconstrued” or “pertains” into the popular song lyric – without being pretentious or overly clever – then by all means feel free to educate me.

Kickass Canada Girl is currently working through the 50 ways, though – fortunately for me – it is not her lover that she is leaving… or at least, only in a transitory sense! The sorting out and the packing are major operations involving much detailed planning, as one would expect when moving permanently from one country to another. It is fortunate that the Girl is good with lists. The intercontinental character of our lives over the next few years should at least give us the advantage of being able to move her belongings incrementally, without the need to make all the decisions on day one.

The leaving of friends and acquaintances is another matter. Those who have come to know and love Kickass Canada Girl – that is, everyone who has met her – now find themselves having to contemplate saying goodbye with little idea of when and where the next meeting might be. Worse still – from their point of view – I will still be here, and they will have to suffer me moaning on about my lonesome condition for the next two years. The Girl will be back, of course – she is after all married to a Scot who lives in England – but those visits will doubtless seem all to brief, much as our visits to BC currently do to me.

Naturally everyone wants a piece of the Girl before she leaves, so we are busy arranging leaving gatherings for friends, relatives and work colleagues. This – on top of winding up and handing over her current job (during a particularly busy period – inevitably!) and getting everything ready to go, is causing an understandable degree of stress. Leaving dinners and parties fall into that slightly awkward category of events that are notionally celebratory, but which – being tinged with sadness – are perhaps not as easy to enjoy as one would wish. Fortunately the Girl has a week in Mexico to look forward to before she takes up her new post, which will provide a much needed hiatus, and the prospect of which should give her the energy to be the life and soul…

For myself, I might just…

“Slip out the back, Jack”

 

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